Funeral and everything had ended. Lots of things running through my mind at a time. Last Thursday, everyone went to the hospital to visit Grandpa. Friday morning I sensed that something's wrong. Yet I did not went to the hospital nor call my mum. Instead I sat in front of the computer and publish my status in Facebook saying "If angels do exist, I wish they will appear right now"
Hours later at Benfred's sports day, brother called and said that Grandpa had passed away. I knew what had happened yet I couldn't speak. Funeral lasted for a week and I can sensed that everyone is exhausted. Us, feeling so helpless not knowing what to do.
There are times that I wanna let it all out yet I couldn't. I didn't want to do the rituals at all. I knew that if we do that, Grandpa will forget us and go to another world. I didn't want that to happen, neither do I want Grandpa to forget me. I knew how much things I wanted to tell Grandpa but its all stuck in my throat. Memories flashed. From sending me to school, bringing me for breakfast and even giving me extra pocket money. He used to dote on me alot and yet, I broke his heart once and once. Even when he was sick, he still asked if I'm alright, is Ben and Zen alright but never did I went over to visit him.
Ah Gong, I knew its too late to say everything. I knew the hopes and expectation you have in me. Since young, you were by my side giving me all the love and concern that Dad didn't show for me. I'm sorry to disappoint you. You were the one whom dote on me most. Why did you go so suddenly? I'm still waiting for you to attend your great-grandchildren s' birthday. Don't worry, when they grow up, I will tell them how much you dote on me and them. Thanks for all your love, care, support and concern all these years. You were the best Ah Gong and I love you!
23/08/2009
Just changed a new CPU. Though its better but I miss the old small and cute one. Guess I will never learn to treasure before I lost it. Time seems to fly. 2weeks past just like that. I still can't get used to life without Grandpa. I will still remind Ben not to make too much noise in the kitchen in case he wakes Grandpa up but only to remember that Grandpa is not around anymore.
Ben and Zen is sick. Both having fever and Ben's left eye is swollen. Last few days really had a hard time looking after them. Zen kept crying and Ben didn't want to take his medicine. No matter what ways I used, he still insist. Luckily now their fever had subside. It might be Zen's teething period thus the fever. Now he has got 5tooth already. Will try to take more pictures of them when they fully recover.
So much things had happened. Life is really so fragile. In one's life, we may get to know many people and befriend many friends. Who will be the true friend that really stays when you need them? Sometimes, human are just so practical. Only when something bad happens, then you realize which are the good ones..
Anyway, just want to take this chance to thank those that showed me your concern during that period of time. Be it your short text, words of console or your visit. Thanks!
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