It is time for me to grow. Although none of my body parts are growing, at least my mind and thinking did (quote from Gerald) and I agreed! Time isn't going to solve anything. All that matters doesn't seem to exist. Where did all the love and trust gone to?
Finally, I've seen how cruel the reality is. Within a night, I realised the one I used to know had changed. I didn't expect things to go haywire and the worst is the disappointments that I recieved.
Truthfully, I did regret. There are way too many regrets that I have in my life. If there's a choice or chance, I will definitely treasure what I had in the past. I won't be rebellious anymore. Neither will I fool around. The most important thing is I wouldn't let my family down. I know how much disappointment I've brought to them and I know how much I've hurt them. All I want to say is "Mum, I'm sorry."
I knew the expectations my family had in me and yet I purposely let them down. Everyone have regrets in their life. There's no way I could undo my mistakes nor go back to the past. But at the least, I know that from now on I will think twice before making any decision thus leading to no regrets.
My decision is final. I'm left with no choice. If this is the only step, I guess there's no other way but to go ahead with it. There's no way to communicate if there's no trust. If there's a reason behind it, I think it all lies within a word, 'TRUST'.
Anyway, life's great recently. Caught up with many friends updating each other and I've finally regained my friendship. I've lost way too much over the past 4years. Friends is really important in life though I know that Family are too. At times there are just some things that you can't talk to your family and that's when Friends are needed. And yeah, since Secondary school, everyone has been saying I'm very alike with Jasmine and that is what we both disagree. Our classmates thought we are sisters, teachers mistook us and even outsiders think so too. Yesterday, Jasmine's brother saw us and he took me as Jasmine. Oh my! He is Jasmine's real blood brother can and he can even get mixed up. Well, I found a picture which we took in the past. Should be around 2004 or 2005. You shall be the judge!
P/S: I don't know if you're reading this. But please, get this in mind! Friends are meant to be there for you to share your happiness and sorrows. They are not meant to used! Don't you find it life meaningless when you have no friends at all ?
♥ Shir Signing off
