我爱老鼠！♥老鼠一家♥

♥ Saturday, November 28, 2009

Oh well, wouldn't comment much on the past events which made me dreaded life. Concentrate on building up a better future will be much more effective. Anyway, just moved house, (Yea, I know. You must be wondering "Not again"). This time to somewhere further, or I should say somewhere I'm more unfamiliar with. Hopefully, I won't get lost when I need to go downstairs to buy stuffs. Though I'm unfamiliar with this area, but I do know people whom are very familiar with the area around here. Guess this area is kind of popular, once I said the area, everyone kind of already knew where I am. Haha. In that case, no excuses next time, must come visit me already. Hehehe.

Ever since the move-out, had been rather depressed. Can't seem to concentrate on anything. This could be counted as the lowest point of my whole entire 18years of life. Maybe I just got too used to everyone and everything by my side that once I lost it, life just seems so dull and dark. Though parents might be separated, deprived of family love and concern, but at the least, they provided everything that I need and want. Suddenly, everything was gone and I simply couldn't adapt to it. I'm glad that things are alright now. Though not stable yet, but with Darling by me, I hope that it will slowly pick up.

Officially 18years old in another 2more days. I used to look forward to this special day, wondering what I will be doing, how I will be celebrating without those age restrictions. Now that it is arriving, I can't seem to find the me that is looking forward to it anymore. Just thought that it might not be the best time to celebrate now with everything still all so messed up. Still no idea how I will be celebrating it. Just take whatever comes by then.

Went prawning over at East Coast Park and Bishan last week. Been months ever since we last prawned. Kind of lousy now. Caught '2012' at E!Hub the last week too. The show was kind of anticipated and long. Though it might be kind of different from how I thought the show might be, but it was still not bad afterall. I thought they might show how the world will end and what will happen when Human extinct. Alright, my imagination might be far too good, but when world end comes to my mind, that's the only thing I could think of. For that show, I wouldn't count it as world end, might be just some major disaster. Opps, guess I side-tracked. And yeah, my soft toy collections increased again! I've threw away quite a lot of stuffs and clothing when I moved out the last time and some of the soft toys had to leave it there too. Now, Darling caught a lot more back. 1Hello Kitty Fish, 1Hello Kitty Cushion, 1Melody soft toy, 1Stitch in a balloon and 1Winnie-the-Pooh. Shan't talk more about it. I'm just too contented hugging them when Darling is not around by my side. Not exaggerating, just that when someone all along with you suddenly just couldn't be by you, that kind of lost and hopeless feeling just comes to you automatically.

Took a number of photos during these period of time when I wasn't able to update. Still couldn't be able to upload them right now as my phone cable wasn't with me. I will try to upload them as soon as I got it back! Readers and friends, wait for me alright! =D

♥ Mrs Laoshu signing off

Been Here @ 7:29 PM

♥ Monday, October 12, 2009

Shall update first in case couldn't get to update in the future. Can't really say much for the time being, taking a step at a time with no solutions to all the tricky obstacles. Finally seen the true colors of some people. So actually, when someone really faces crisis, everyone will just turn their backs on you. Well, this only applies to some. I know who are and who's not. Just felt a little disappointing that a person I've know for so long could just say this kind of thing and yet not even giving a least bit of encouragement. It might be the truth but it sounds like reproaching more than advice or encouragement. Ahhh, forget it. At least I've seen better sides of human too (:

Life's pretty bad now. Not knowing how the future gonna be like. Everything seems so bleak and dull. Felt really hopeless this time. Gotta act as if nothing happened in front of everyone. How sarcastic can life be. So much in me, yet not able to mention. Saddening.. Anyway, brought Zen out to meet Sabbie. Had a great, long chat. Over the weekends, brought Ben out to meet Joelin and Cun too. Walked around, shopped around. At least for that few hours, I'm able to forget everything and just concentrate on loosing up.

Oh ya, Zen has got 6tooths now. Kind of lot uh. Didn't manage to take him smiling with his tooth showing but I will try to. He looks so cute when he smile and his 6little tooth appearing. Though he still can't say a word but at least he can just yak a little at times. Did I mention that he's a glutton? He can't stop eating and I really mean it when I say can't stop. He can just go on and on eating biscuits and crackers though he just finished his lunch or dinner. Especially when he saw someone eating, he will definitely scream cause' he wanted a share too. Super greedy lo! Luckily Ben always share with him. If not I guess when he grows up, they might snatch over food. Ha!

Everything's pretty same for Ben. Attending school, playing with his mates and making a mess of my room every single day. One thing for sure, he got naughtier. Knowing how to talk back, throwing tantrums and even pouting. When he felt too tired to carry on walking and I didn't want to carry him, he can just squat down with his arms crossed and mouth sulking. I really wonder who did he learn from cause' its kind of sissy when I see him doing that though he does look cute. He's getting more and more demanding, wanting these and that. Well, gotta really spend more time teaching him if not he might really being a spoilt brat?

Life recently might be bored and uneasy but at the least, everything is still going on with the help of others. We know who these people are and we know they are gonna be there be it happy or sad, rich or poor. Might be seperated from Ben and Zen for the time-being but I believe things will turn for the better and I will be able to fetch them back soon. Though some people might give me disappointing answers, even closest kins might not even be willing to help out but I guess that's what life is all about. Full of ups-and-downs. Used an application in Facebook, 'God wants you to know'. Well, it kind of motivates me at times. All the messages that God gave really have link to every one of my problems. I don't know if these are real or just pure coincidence but still, after reading it, it kinds of lifted up my spirits. Below are those messages that I recieved from the first time till today.

October 5 2009 at 2:26am:
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that you've been driving yourself too hard lately.
Sure, there is time to invest yourself fully into work, but there is equally important time for joy...ful resting. And for you, this time is now. What is the absolutely most wonderful little treat you can give yourself? Do it today.

October 7 2009 at 4:35am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that tonight you can turn your worries to God, and have a good night's sleep.
You've been worrying too much about the future lately. So tonight, go ah...ead, put your faith in God, and just have a peaceful evening and a restful sleep.

October 7 2009 at 10:53pm
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that it's OK.
Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in t...he core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK.

October 9 2009 at 4:57am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that every relationship rests on three legs: accepting, supporting and challenging.
That's really it, isn't it? You want your relationships to be grou...nded on accepting each other as you are. On supporting each other through the inevitable ups and downs. On challenging each other to become more, to grow, to flourish. Which one of these is the more difficult one for you, and how are you going to practice it in the next 24 hours?

October 10 2009 at 4:08am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that it is time to finally forgive yourself.
You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The ti...me has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it.

October 11 2009 at 3:38am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed.
That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient on...e. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.

October 12 2009 at 1:26am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that the answers are within you.
You're chasing in the wrong field. What you are looking for is inside of you, not 'out there'. Take a few days off to... become quiet and look within, and you will find it.

October 13 2009 at 3:54am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that it's time to STOP going through the motions of living, and START living.
Are you willing to do that now? Or are you going to wait until all life ...energy drains out of you and your loved ones who are trying to support you at this very moment? You were not born to follow rules and regulations. Living starts with dreaming. So dream, dream friend, and let dreams show you the path to your bliss.

October 14 2009 at 1:46am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that it's time you remembered who you really are.
You are not your wallet, your job, your kids, your house. You are not your activities or your worrie...s or the labels other people give you. Like an actor you play these roles, and like a good actor you sometimes forget who you really are. Time to wake up now, and remember that you are a being of immense power and breathtaking beauty created in the image of God.

October 15 2009 at 1:17am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that there is a miracle waiting for you this minute, - please make room for it in your thinking.
God has no need to prove anything to you, so if you d...on't believe in miracles, you are not likely to receive one. How do you believe in miracles? You believe by keeping your eyes open, - miracles often come in ways unexpected, and might leave unrecognized unless you pay attention.

October 16 2009 at 2:08pm
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that the great advantage of having nothing is that everything becomes a gain.
Losing everything is at the same time the scariest, as well as the most ...liberating experience you can have. When you have something, - anything, you've got to protect it from disappearing. And so worry becomes a resident in your heart. When you've got nothing, your heart overflows with gratitude for every offering you receive.

October 17 2009 at 2:44pm
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that every moment is an opportunity for you to be happy.
You know how sometimes it seems that life is just throwing you one curved ball after another?... Well, guess what, - you have a great way to respond! - you can use every opportunity, every single one, to be happy. Don't just take a shower - feel into and receive pleasure from the water on your skin. Don't just walk on the street - enjoy the fragrances of the trees and the flowers on your way. Don't just drive your car - sing karaoke to your favorite radio station.

October 18 2009 at 2:36am
Shirley got a message that on this day, God wants her to know... that how bad things may look right now means nothing, - it's how good they can be with God's help that counts.
In life you can absolutely count on one... thing, - everything can turn around in one day, in one minute sometimes. Don't you dare to give up, - you might be a moment away from a windfall.

I might not be a God's follower but I guess all these is enough to prove that either Facebook is good enough to know whatever I'm facing, all these are pure coincidence or God really exist. Its up to you to judge (: Comments alright!

Anyway, videos are uploaded like F-I-N-A-L-L-Y. One was Ben doing Jigsaw puzzle all on his own and the other is my cousin on stage. Its all super random and not clearly taken so just bear with it uh. I will try to upload the other pictures as soon as possible. Guess all these are enough for the long wait? TAGS PLEASE and PLEASE PLEASE click on the ADVERTS!!

Been Here @ 7:38 AM

♥ Friday, October 2, 2009

Ages since I updated. Did thought of updating but time wasn't really on my side. There's so much to handle. When I thought that things are gradually getting better, everything plunged. To the extent of no one having a solution to salvage. The urge to scream, the urge to cry.. The urge to shout everything out. I'm only 18. Be it I'm a mother or whatever, I still 18. How much do I have to go through, how much do I have to handle. Why do people have to go through deep trouble before learning how to think twice? The responsibility is on me, the person that gotta account is also me. Can't they just spare a thought for me? When there's trouble, everyone think for themselves. Who cares about us. Not even willing to think of solutions, no sight of repent.

I lost hopes and faith thoroughly. Unless we step out of this, or we will never search for the peace. Guess this is what they meant by 'A leopard never changes its spots'. From the very first time till now, things only worsen, no sense of guilt shown, no words of apologies said.

Don't worry, I will still stand up and walk forward be it how difficult it is. I believe that as long as we cam walk out of this, the road ahead will be better. At the very least, I still have friends showing concern for me. After all my nags, it's time for the videos and photos. Do enjoy!

Cherie Hearts Sport Day 2009 - 07082009
Didn't managed to capture much as phone went out of battery.

Ben and Zen's Birthday - 14092009 04092009

Been Here @ 2:36 AM

♥ Thursday, September 3, 2009

Been a few weeks since I last updated. Don't know if all my readers are still here. I'm thankful for everyone whom make the effort to read what I've been blogging about be it you are really concerned about me or are you just being curious. These few weeks I've been spending time with family and friends. It makes me realized that actually without money, without fun doesn't mean that's the end of the world. In fact, with friendship and kinship, it feels like you owned everything in the world. Thinking back about how I used to ignore the ones that cared for me, the advices that are best for me and purposely committing mistakes makes me felt so naive and ignorant. Though everything had past and I wouldn't say I regretted but in fact, these mistakes are what I've gotta face for the rest of my life. Time couldn't be reverse and there's nothing I can do to undo it. I know the price is too big but I will still make the best out of it.

These past few weeks was a little unlucky as Ben and Zen was sick and I was also infected by them. But we are on the verge of recovering already. To be exact, we have already recovered. But just in case, I will still wait for a few days to make sure that Ben is really fine before sending him back to school. Though my eyes are fine now, sore throat and flu had come for me. Don't worry, I will take of myself and I know I have to. Thanks for the concern everyone showed.

Actually spending time with family ain't that bad. Had been going over to Granny's place almost everyday. Didn't know that by sitting around, chit-chatting about the past with family can actually be so fun and enjoyable. I'm glad that throughout these 18years, even though without a rich family, without a loving Dad, I still have others showing concern for me. Went over to Dad's family side for prayers. Everything is still the same. Nothing to talk about, nothing worth talking about. I can feel that Dad really love sister and that's the love I couldn't felt from him all along. I wouldn't say that he is bad or I'm jealous but just hope that the one he's loving now will be worth loving. I'm already contented with what I have now. For those that have noticed, tomorrow will be Zenfred's first birthday. Sad to say, we wouldn't be holding a celebration as my Grandpa had just passed away not long. It might be a little unfair to Zen but I guess he will understand. Though we wouldn't be holding a big celebration but I guess we will be making some other plans for him. Anyway, my little sister's first birthday are around the corner too. So just wish her a Happy Birthday too. Guess Dad will hold a nice celebration for her.

Meeting up with Sitoh and Jas are still as fun as ever. The craps we had, the funny photos we took and the never ending chat we shared. Also met up with others like Gerald, Garry and Shimin and Xianshao. Talked about everything under the sun. The words that they said, I will never forget. Thanks, my friends.

Job-hunting currently. Had a few jobs introduced by friends but wasn't able to turn up for the interview as Ben and Zen was sick at that time. Though I missed the chances, but I will still wait for more opportunities to come by.

Life wouldn't always be so bad, be it for you or me..

♥ SHiR signing off

Been Here @ 8:22 PM

♥ Monday, August 24, 2009

14/08/2009

Funeral and everything had ended. Lots of things running through my mind at a time. Last Thursday, everyone went to the hospital to visit Grandpa. Friday morning I sensed that something's wrong. Yet I did not went to the hospital nor call my mum. Instead I sat in front of the computer and publish my status in Facebook saying "If angels do exist, I wish they will appear right now"

Hours later at Benfred's sports day, brother called and said that Grandpa had passed away. I knew what had happened yet I couldn't speak. Funeral lasted for a week and I can sensed that everyone is exhausted. Us, feeling so helpless not knowing what to do.

There are times that I wanna let it all out yet I couldn't. I didn't want to do the rituals at all. I knew that if we do that, Grandpa will forget us and go to another world. I didn't want that to happen, neither do I want Grandpa to forget me. I knew how much things I wanted to tell Grandpa but its all stuck in my throat. Memories flashed. From sending me to school, bringing me for breakfast and even giving me extra pocket money. He used to dote on me alot and yet, I broke his heart once and once. Even when he was sick, he still asked if I'm alright, is Ben and Zen alright but never did I went over to visit him.

Ah Gong, I knew its too late to say everything. I knew the hopes and expectation you have in me. Since young, you were by my side giving me all the love and concern that Dad didn't show for me. I'm sorry to disappoint you. You were the one whom dote on me most. Why did you go so suddenly? I'm still waiting for you to attend your great-grandchildren s' birthday. Don't worry, when they grow up, I will tell them how much you dote on me and them. Thanks for all your love, care, support and concern all these years. You were the best Ah Gong and I love you!

23/08/2009

Just changed a new CPU. Though its better but I miss the old small and cute one. Guess I will never learn to treasure before I lost it. Time seems to fly. 2weeks past just like that. I still can't get used to life without Grandpa. I will still remind Ben not to make too much noise in the kitchen in case he wakes Grandpa up but only to remember that Grandpa is not around anymore.

Ben and Zen is sick. Both having fever and Ben's left eye is swollen. Last few days really had a hard time looking after them. Zen kept crying and Ben didn't want to take his medicine. No matter what ways I used, he still insist. Luckily now their fever had subside. It might be Zen's teething period thus the fever. Now he has got 5tooth already. Will try to take more pictures of them when they fully recover.

So much things had happened. Life is really so fragile. In one's life, we may get to know many people and befriend many friends. Who will be the true friend that really stays when you need them? Sometimes, human are just so practical. Only when something bad happens, then you realize which are the good ones..

Anyway, just want to take this chance to thank those that showed me your concern during that period of time. Be it your short text, words of console or your visit. Thanks!

P/S: Don't forget to click on the adverts after reading!

Pictures taken on the day we visited Grandpa

Been Here @ 6:54 PM

♥ Saturday, August 22, 2009

Small update.

A short update for now.

Please be patient to wait for more updates and pictures.

Computer broke down and the 2 kids are sick currently. The new cpu might be here tomorrow so hopefully I can upload everything by next week.

Actually I've already started typing my post but halfway I saved it. Couldn't really continue due to my emotional side. I will try to finish everything as soon as possible when the new cpu arrived.

Thanks to everyone whom showed me their concern and care during this period of time.

I will be back soon! :)

Been Here @ 1:16 AM